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Post by dunksby on Mar 27, 2016 20:28:09 GMT
Raise your hand and I will link to my Word Press  |
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Post by Steve Nash on Mar 27, 2016 20:29:59 GMT
Interested! Won't be able to read much of anything until after exams though.
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Post by dunksby on Mar 27, 2016 20:34:05 GMT
Interested! Won't be able to read much of anything until after exams though. Fuck you then, but here you go: momentsofdeclarity.me/ |
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Post by Steve Nash on Mar 27, 2016 20:34:36 GMT
Bookmarked, gonna try to get it immediately after exams (end of April).
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Post by dunksby on Mar 27, 2016 20:54:54 GMT
Bookmarked, gonna try to get it immediately after exams (end of April). Good luck with your exams, although my stories are pretty short, my package ain't so I might add  |
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Post by bladefd on Mar 27, 2016 21:08:05 GMT
What is it? sex stories?   |
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Post by dunksby on Mar 27, 2016 21:09:35 GMT
What is it? sex stories? Get your lotion ready Mfer! |
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Post by bladefd on Mar 27, 2016 21:41:45 GMT
Wow, you write very well. I will finish reading it tonight. Busy right now doing some other stuff.
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Post by WayOfWad3 on Mar 28, 2016 5:41:09 GMT
Just clicked on the link and was disappointed to see that there wasn't a story at all. That or I was just too retarded to find it
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Post by bladefd on Mar 28, 2016 6:20:42 GMT
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Post by dunksby on Mar 28, 2016 7:35:08 GMT
Wow, you write very well. I will finish reading it tonight. Busy right now doing some other stuff. Thank you, your interest finally made me go edit the first chapter  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2016 3:00:18 GMT
I'll give it a read soon. I still need to read the second half of Prof's script lol
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Post by bladefd on Mar 29, 2016 6:40:49 GMT
Dunksby, I think you should do more character development and maybe draw the plot a bit for your next story. I understand you wanted to shock the readers but you have to show some background to the readers so they can connect with the characters on an emotional level.
Will let you know if I think of something else.
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Post by dunksby on Mar 29, 2016 7:26:25 GMT
Thanks for your input, the second story is not done yet, and I am still writing more chapters. But the general point still stands that it needs more characterisation
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Post by bladefd on Apr 16, 2016 21:46:38 GMT
Update us if you write more stuff. After seeing this, I think dunksby just inspired me to write some stories myself. I run my own blog for my ideas on life (pm if you want link). I might start new website just for stories.. nothingbutstories.com was my first idea but is taken.. THOSE BASTARDS.. I need to figure out new website name B-| |
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Post by dunksby on Apr 17, 2016 15:07:29 GMT
I will, I have a few chapters ready, but I need to tweak a few parts and edit them first.
I feel proud to have inspired another person, thanks.
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Post by Bob on Apr 24, 2016 4:43:05 GMT
I'll give it a read soon. I still need to read the second half of Prof's script lol I was still still in my first marriage, it's been so far back, since we got that LOL |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2016 11:16:28 GMT
I'll give it a read soon. I still need to read the second half of Prof's script lol I was still still in my first marriage, it's been so far back, since we got that LOL Lmao! No, no. Prof wrote a new script recently. A TV script. |
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Post by Bob on Apr 24, 2016 16:25:16 GMT
I was still still in my first marriage, it's been so far back, since we got that LOL Lmao! No, no. Prof wrote a new script recently. A TV script. Ah  , the old script was a movie type if i remember correctly. |
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Post by ProfessorMurder on Apr 24, 2016 21:48:46 GMT
Lmao! No, no. Prof wrote a new script recently. A TV script. Ah , the old script was a movie type if i remember correctly. Toss that shit. It's garbage. Needs a page one re-write. I'll turn it into something eventually. |
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Post by Bob on Apr 24, 2016 22:37:51 GMT
Ah , the old script was a movie type if i remember correctly. Toss that shit. It's garbage. Needs a page one re-write. I'll turn it into something eventually. I'm saving it for when you become famous and I need to exploit the email/script to make a quick 50 bucks... |
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Post by ProfessorMurder on Apr 24, 2016 23:08:21 GMT
Toss that shit. It's garbage. Needs a page one re-write. I'll turn it into something eventually. I'm saving it for when you become famous and I need to exploit the email/script to make a quick 50 bucks... You diabolical son of a bitch! |
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Post by jailblazers7 on Apr 24, 2016 23:25:03 GMT
If I have any advice for you here it's that you use too much descriptive language. For example "left him to sit on behind the table on which the laptop was resting on." I think you'd be better served with a first person narrative with this story. I can tell your straining to from "his" perspective but just write from yours. I don't mean to step on your toes but an example: Even from the beginning I think it would be be better. "I hate warm climates, I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin even when I see puddles in the cobble stones. How does the couple on the corner look so relaxed when I know I'll never escape the woman I'm going to meet?" Please feel free to ignore this advice. |
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Post by Bob on Apr 25, 2016 20:52:05 GMT
If I have any advice for you here it's that you use too much descriptive language. For example "left him to sit on behind the table on which the laptop was resting on." I think you'd be better served with a first person narrative with this story. I can tell your straining to from "his" perspective but just write from yours. I don't mean to step on your toes but an example: Even from the beginning I think it would be be better. "I hate warm climates, I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin even when I see puddles in the cobble stones. How does the couple on the corner look so relaxed when I know I'll never escape the woman I'm going to meet?" Please feel free to ignore this advice. Good advice |
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Post by dunksby on Aug 4, 2017 10:30:29 GMT
I had a drunken rage the other day because my laptop kept failing me and I installed a fresh Windows, losing almost all my work in the process. I managed to recover one text only (puke)
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Post by dunksby on Aug 4, 2017 10:38:45 GMT
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Post by dunksby on Aug 4, 2017 10:41:20 GMT
If I have any advice for you here it's that you use too much descriptive language. For example "left him to sit on behind the table on which the laptop was resting on." I think you'd be better served with a first person narrative with this story. I can tell your straining to from "his" perspective but just write from yours. I don't mean to step on your toes but an example: Even from the beginning I think it would be be better. "I hate warm climates, I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin even when I see puddles in the cobble stones. How does the couple on the corner look so relaxed when I know I'll never escape the woman I'm going to meet?" Please feel free to ignore this advice. That first chapter was written ages ago to be followed by a completely different story, but later I hated the rest and only kept that part. You are right, sometimes I fall victim over the top descriptive language and over indulge myself. |
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, the old script was a movie type if i remember correctly. 
